who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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