wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
