Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work