is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand