finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.