i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.