Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I AM VODKA MAN
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Is Oprah even human
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
