is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
