I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
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He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
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Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void