Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.