i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
