Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize