We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize