You work out of a Hotel?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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