If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It's official drugs can't kill me
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
how drunk are you?
Several
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
