if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
