Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
