I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
