I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
