the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
did i just pee glitter
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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