Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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