Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
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Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
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I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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