Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
