For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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