even my farts smell like vagina
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
