Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
