i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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