I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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