I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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