he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
