I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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