@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
