I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
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My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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