I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
