Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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