you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
