I can tuck mytits in my pants
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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