Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Pappa wants mamma naked
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize