i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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