Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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