Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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