Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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