you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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