Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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