it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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