So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
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the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
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Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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