i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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