Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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