we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
