I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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