i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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