I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize