I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
