It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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