Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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