I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Operation Purity has been aborted
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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