wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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