Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
