P.S. I can't hear my feet
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
