Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
