first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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