she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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