She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
