this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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