Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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