youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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