i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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