So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
