Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
