we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
