Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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