either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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