You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
