ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
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